How To Get On With Your Colleagues

Rapport and empathy – what do these words mean and why are they relevant in a business setting?

‘Empathy’ is the ability to share another person’s feelings, while ‘rapport’ refers to a harmonious relationship in which the people or groups concerned understand each other’s feelings or ideas and communicate well.

The main reason behind highlighting this distinction is to shed some light on the importance of communication skills in our daily lives.

Good communication not only helps us build good relationships, but also eliminates the barriers of not getting along with certain people for unknown reasons.

Let’s take a moment and ask ourselves how good our communication skills are.

When we think of someone with whom we have a good rapport, do we actually think of what makes us in rapport with that person and not others?

In business, knowing that our proposals can be accepted or rejected, people can easily conform with the other party, however we have to be aware of one area of communication that never lies, no matter how much a person tries to hide behind words – body language.

Through physiological changes to skin colour, tone and moisture, facial muscles, eyes, nostrils, cheeks, mouth, ears, forehead, jaw, eyebrows, lower lip, breathing rate, head tilt, swallowing, whole body movements, shape uniformity, deformity, foot movements, and voice tone, volume, pace, fluidity, pitch, etc, we can tell whether or not our proposal has met with the other person’s expectations.

Communication skills fall into four major categories: visual, auditory, kinesthetic and auditory digital.

Visual people tend to sit or stand with their heads and/or bodies erect and their eyes up, berating from the top of their lungs. They often sit forward in their chair and tend to be organized, neat, well groomed and orderly. They memorise by seeing pictures and are less distracted by noise. They often have trouble remembering verbal instructions because their minds tend to wander. A visual person will be interested in how your programmes ‘look’ because appearances are important to them. They’re often thin and wiry.

Auditory people will move their eyes sideways, breathe from the middle of their chest, often talk to themselves and are easily distracted by noise. They can repeat things back to you easily, learn by listening and usually like music and talking on the phone. They memorise by steps, procedures and sequences. The auditory person likes to be ‘told’ how they are doing and will respond to a certain tone of voice or set of words.

Kinesthetic people will typically breathe from the bottom of their lungs, so you will see their stomach go in and out when they breathe. They often move and talk very slowly, respond to physical rewards and touching. They also stand closer to people, unlike a visual person. They memorise by doing or walking through something. They will be interested in your programme if it ‘feels right’.

Auditory digital people will listen carefully to what people have to say and accept it if it sounds right. They remember events and experiences by the songs they were listening to at the time, or the tone of voice the person used. Often they will tilt their heads in order to line their ear up to receive the sound most clearly. They will want to know if your programme ‘makes sense’.

Penny Edge is the founder of the Finishing Academy UK. She provides corporate etiquette courses in the UAE through SO Famous. For more information,visit www.so-famous.com, email [email protected] or call 04 451 9160.